Imposter Syndrome
Why its time to care less about what others think
When you start teaching veteran teachers will tell you to “care less”, and while this might be frustrating at first I now know what that means. Control what’s in your bubble and let the rest go. You can’t fight the whole world, so make sure you are choosing the important battles and let the rest go. It’s just like your art, not all of it has to be shown, maybe it’s just for you. When you care a little less you can explore what you are trying to learn about yourself.
“Art is a way for you to meet yourself!”
-Jerry J White III-
I titled this article imposter syndrome because of the definition below. This phenomenon keeps so many of us from moving forward. The fear of failure stops us short of what is possible. We ask ourselves many a what if. What if this works? What if no one likes it? What if we start asking “What if this changes someone’s way of thinking?” What if this helps someone through something difficult in their life? What if that hard work and determination is why I am here, not because of anything else?
Imposter Syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills.
What Teaching Has Taught Me
Over the past 15 years of living and creating in Los Angeles, I have learned so much about who I am and what is possible. In my features, I have learned about my family and how I cope with loss and grief. In my photography, I explore my emotional state and show how I move about my space and place in the world. I take these individual still moments as an opportunity to explore and capture emotion over everything. I hope my work empowers others to care less about the outcome and focus on what they will learn about themselves. I have realized I am not an imposter, I’m Jerry J White III. There has never been one like me and there will never be another like me. This is freeing. This allows me the time to make exactly what I want without fear of how others see it. While I want others to see my work, it has always been my priority, to make what I want to see. We have seen what others can make, what do you want to make? Make that!
Over the years I have been working on being a better advocate for my art. No one cares, so you have to. With time and space between projects, you can reflect, always remembering it’s never too late to spread the word.
Over the past five years of teaching, I have been trying to undo this part of my brain. I have learned that you are the only true advocate for anything you create. A lesson learned through multiple experiences in business, distribution, and various collaborations. I am more comfortable than ever with my work and how I share it with the world. A lesson that took me almost 20 years to learn, or in this case unlearn.
Shamelessly Self Promote
Way back when, before I moved to LA, I was part of the Independent Filmmakers coalition of Kansas City, a filmmaking collective that allowed me to get on set making films. IFC fostered this spirit to create, no matter what. They allowed filmmakers to try and fail, and they picked us up. They fostered creativity for creativity’s sake and at the end of each meeting they opened up a round of Shameless self-promotion where you could plug whatever you wished. This allowed us to share what we were working on without judgment. It allowed us to brag without being showy because we all wanted to be better. It was through this promotion that I was able to share my first feature with a crowd of professional filmmakers. It is through this collective that I was inspired to move to LA.
In keeping with this tradition it’s time for some SSP (Shameless Self Promotion), and it’s about Imagination Ecosystem, a joint show I’m part of June 27-29 at Hub 101 in Westlake Village, CA. Opening night is this Thursday, June 27th from 6-9 and I will be in attendance. This show is a precursor to my solo show, NOT GOOD ENOUGH, that will be happening this fall. With time and distance, I can now see that they are 100% me, and for that, they are good enough because of what I have learned about myself:
How to slow down and be present.
How to care about individual moments
How to show my way of seeing with others.
If last summer was about releasing my features for free, click HERE to watch, then this summer is about talking about them. I made these films with some of the most incredibly talented artists and it’s time for them to be seen.
Whether you have been on this journey from the beginning, or just recently, I can never thank you enough for the support. Thank you all for what you have added to my life, for without these chance encounters I may have never found a purpose that allows me to share human experiences with others. I hope to see some of you in person at the upcoming shows, and if you can’t make them then I’d like to direct you to my new website www.jerryjwhite.com. You can see work from this show. A store full of physical media including silver gelatin prints, DVDs, zines, and more will be going live next month.
Until next time…
Jerry J White III
